Why Your Child May Not be Ready?

I have heard many parents complain that my sister’s friend’s nephew got potty trained completely by the time they were 2 or that my eldest child began to potty train as soon as they turned 18 months, then why is it that my child does not act in the same way? Not many studies have been conducted on why some children learn to use the bathroom on their own early in life while others seem to take longer, but most experts say that each child has a separate and distinct learning pattern.

Some children become aware of themselves and develop the right set of motor skills faster than other kids. This could be due to various reasons, but what is more important to understand is the fact that all children are not the same and they will behave differently. In times like these, you need to stop listening to everyone else and only focus your attention on your child. Keep an eye on their needs and see what they are comfortable doing. It does not matter that your neighbor’s child learned to go to the bathroom at 2½ years. The only thing that is of significance to you is what your child wants to do.

Learning New Things is a Full Time Job

Going to the bathroom on your own may be natural to you but for a child who has always been going to the bathroom in their diaper, learning to use the potty is a full time job. The task is totally new for them and they won’t even understand why it is necessary. You are asking them to leave behind their 2-3 years of not doing anything and then suddenly remembering to tell you when they want to go or that their bladder might be full or that poo-poo is on the way.

Baby-Training-PantsWhy would an active toddler want to spend time learning to remember such mundane things when they can instead climb, jump, run or wreck your favorite sofa? Think of it from the point of view of your little one.

More often than not, a child who is not ready now, will be in a few months. So give them time. If they still show resistance, then there might be some other measures you will have to take. We will talk about this in detail in the upcoming chapters.

Fear of the Unknown

This may sound a little strange for you, but again, look at it from your child’s perspective. Many times when parents are too pressurizing or expect too much from their children, kids develop a fear of what lies ahead. As soon as the time to sit on the potty arrives, they began to be fearful of the whole ordeal. To them it is another hour of sheer torture where they are required to do something they simply cannot handle.

This is the reason that they become cranky and even refuse to sit on the potty. Keep in mind that if the situation gets worse, your child may even develop a fear of the toilet and refuse to even go in, let alone use the potty. This is why you must be very perceptive of how your child is reacting to the whole potty training process and do something that makes it easy for them to learn instead of it becoming something they are terrified of.

Lack of Confidence

As mentioned above, lack of confidence to the fact that a child is unable to meet his/her parent’s expectations is also a factor in why your child may be unable to learn the art of toilet training. It could be that you see that the child is making progress and then all of a sudden they may not be able to hold it in, or demand the use of their diaper. This too can be due to the lack of confidence in their success.

The easiest way to make your child confident is to concentrate on the little achievements they make. Celebrate and reward even the tiniest progress so that they get assured by the idea that they can do it, no matter how long it may seem.

Embarrassment

Some children are embarrassed by the concept of having to go to the bathroom and doing the job. They feel uncomfortable with the attention or may be shy enough to think that the parent is being invasive in their privacy. The situation can worsen to the point where the thought of using the potty makes them so upset that they refuse to use it at all.

The best practice to adopt in such a situation is that you allow them to see how it is a natural process and nothing they do is embarrassing or uncomfortable. If for example, you have a baby girl who does not feel comfortable doing the poo-poo in front of her dad, you can make sure that it is the mom who does the training. Once the child has learned to go on their own, you can introduce the father in the equation so that your child is able to use the toilet just as comfortably with the father, as with the mother.

But these were only some of the reasons why children may not seem like they are ready to begin going to the bathroom on their own. Before we discuss the physical and emotional factors, here are some other things that may suggest that your child is either too young or still not willing to go to the toilet on their own:

  • Cries, seems fearful or screams whenever it is suggested that they use the potty
  • Keeps shaking their head or yelling a resounding no
  • Stands right next to the toilet but refuses to get on it. Goes on the floor instead of showing any inclination to use the potty
  • Does not want you to remove the diaper and seems comfortable even when it is soiled

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What You Need to Know About Potty Training Older Children

First things first! In this article, we will learn all the facts about potty or toilet training. If you are among those new parents who have been eagerly awaiting this part of your child’s development, then you are in for a surprise. Potty training varies from child to child. While some kids are ready to learn things early on, others refuse to even consider that going to the toilet is an option.

But do not think that this is a problem, because as difficult as may sound, it simply means that you need to find the right time. Below are some facts about potty training that might put you at ease and assure you that you are not a completely clueless parent.

potty-training-landing

Fact # 1

All kids develop at different speeds. This means both physically and emotionally. This in turn implies that just because your best friend’s child started going to the bathroom and sitting on the chair at the age of 1 does not means your little girl will do the same. So wait patiently and observe when your little one starts taking an interest in the fact that the diaper is not the place to do it. Mostly it is biological growth of your child that decides when they are ready.

Fact # 2

For most children, it takes about three to twelve months of training to perfect the art of going to the bathroom and handling their toilet needs on their own. Independence also depends on how willing they are to learn and take responsibility of themselves.

Fact # 3

There is a major difference between daytime training and nighttime control. This too correlates to the physiological development of the child. You can’t expect that since your child has learned to control themselves in the daytime, the same would apply to their nighttime schedule.

Fact # 4

For most young ones, urinating four to eight times a day is normal. This mostly happens about every two hours. As for bowel movement, most kids have one to two bowel movements a day and some have three. There are also some toddlers who skip a day sometimes.

Fact # 5

Diet and exercise have a huge significance on potty training. If your kid consumes sufficient amounts of liquids, along with veggies, fruits and whole grain foods, then potty training will be easier. Likewise, exercise helps digest the food properly and effectively. If there is not exercise or movement whatsoever, the bowel movement will not be accurate and the child might face constipation.

Fact # 6

There will be plenty of accidents while a child is learning to go to the toilet on their own. This is part of the learning process. Studies show that 80% of the toddlers go through so called setbacks, which in reality are just the roadblocks on way to the mastery of using the toilet on their own.

Fact # 7

98% of the toddlers who are being potty trained learn the art of daytime independence by the time they turn 4. Nighttime expertise varies for each child and you can gain nothing by trying to rush the matter.

Fact # 8

It is simply not true that kids who do not learn potty training quickly have repercussions in later life, like they have OCD or can never become clean or develop some other kind of personality disorder. Many studies have been conducted on this and all show that this is just a myth.

Fact # 9

When teaching your child how to become independent in taking control of their toilet habits, keep in mind that the whole concept should come to them just as naturally as eating with a spoon or playing with blocks. The concept might be new but it should never be alien or something they are uncomfortable with.

Fact # 10

It is not just the child who needs to be ready for toilet training. Parent’s readiness plays a significant role in how well and how soon a child becomes independent. How the parents react during the practice session makes all the difference in the world. So you will need to be pretty careful about not just your words, but your body language and facial expressions as well.

Now that you have some idea about what you may be dealing with, let us discuss what the correlation is between age, gender and individual toddlers.

We also highly recommend that you click the link below and check out the Potty Train your child in 3 days’ guide!

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Is Your Child Ready?

So how do you know that your child is ready to use the toilet and wants to learn to take control?

As soon as your child crosses the age of 1½ years old, start keeping an eye on them to see if they see uncomfortable with the diaper and seem to take an interest in urinating or pooing in the potty chair instead of in the diaper. Below are some other things that will indicate that your child is ready and want to start their potty training session.

>              Your toddler will become more and more uncomfortable with their wet or soiled diaper. They will tell you about it and ask to be changed.

>              Become controlled enough to be able to sit at one place for more than 2 minutes.

>              Urinates for a long time in one go and has proper bowel movements.

>              Remains dry for 2 hours or more at one point in time. Stays completely dry during nap time or wakes up after a whole night with a dry diaper. This shows that they are learning to control their bladder muscles.

>              Can understand instructions easily and does not have difficulty in removing their underclothes.

>              Understands the need to go to the bathroom and shows an interest in other people’s bathroom habits.

>              Is cooperative when you try teaching them bathroom habits and does not demonstrate any kind of resistance. Instead they show a desire to learn independence.

>              Can at least explain through non-verbal gestures that they need to go to the bathroom. But their indications should be clear about what they want to do.

>              Even of the kid is not able to sit on the potty by themselves and get off too, you can help them get on and off. But the child should show the inclination to go each time themselves.

>              If the child seems interested in wearing adult under wears.

If your child shows most of these signs then it becomes clear that they are ready to begin their potty training. You need to keep in mind that the inclination and readiness of your child might not be enough. You too need to be ready to begin training them. If you are scared and aren’t sure about the situation yourself then your child will never have the confidence to do anything.

As a parent, your behavior and attitude is something that your child picks up on immediately. This means that if you are reluctant about something then the likelihood of them getting it is immense. You need to have confidence about what you intend to get into so that your child is equally inspired and motivated into doing whatever tasks you set them.

Always keep in mind that the only thing that can get your child to learn quickly is how you try to help them.

The Key to Training Your Child

What is the basic, one most important thing that you need to do when training your child? The simplest answer to this is patience and persistence. Like everything else in your life, potty training requires that you give your child time to learn. I would like to stress again and again on the fact that the stage where your child is learning to handle their own toilet concerns is a big step for them.

For a child it is stepping out of the connection they had with their mother and coming to terms with the concept of being their own person. Imagine learning something that huge. This is the reason why you need to give them some time to do things on their own pace. If you rush them into learning something, they will never be able to do anything correctly.

What happens is that people who end up pressurizing their young ones into doing things correctly without giving them time to learn end up with children who suffer from bed wetting and difficulty in control of their bowels. This is because the idea of not being able to meet their parents’ expectations can be stressful for the child and could discourage them from learning.

Such stress could also become a road block in their ability to understand what is being taught. For example, if a child is a good learner generally but seems to be stuck on the potty training session, it must mean that there is something that is hindering the process. I would suggest that you check your behavior and attitude towards the whole thing. Could it be that you are too adamant? Strict? Unsupportive or non-encouraging?

Please know that nothing is more important than how you handle this phase of your child’s life. For a child, the approval and support of their parents has lasting consequence. So make sure that you remain calm, encouraging and patient. This way your child would always know that no matter how fast or slow they are, nothing is more important than their well being for you.

There will be times when your child refuses to do what you ask of them, when they get in a fussy mood and do not want to be responsible for themselves, and even when they sometimes deliberately wet themselves. It is these times when they need your support most. You will have to constantly remind them that yes, they can do it and you are always there to help them in any way you can.

I do not mean to say that you won’t need to be strict from time to time. Just that even when you are strict or getting some message across, it can be done in a firm, yet loving tone and method. Your child needs you to tell them again and again that they can do anything they want and no matter what happens, you will always love them.

Patience is the key to getting any task done appropriately. Bear in mind that your parents did it too, so it is only the circle of life that you get to do it as well.

For a complete strategy and guide on how to potty train your child check out our How To Potty Train In 3 Days Review…

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